What is self-care? How does it work? Are you doing it the right way or the wrong way? Let’s find out.

Self-care is taking the time to ensure your happiness and maintain your own well-being mentally as well as physically. Life, in general, can be draining and take a toll on your mind. Stress is the main culprit in putting your health at serious risk.

I also think people fail to realize that self-care is more than just a one-time thing. You shouldn’t just take care of yourself when you feel like you really need it. It needs to be on an ongoing basis so you can always be at your mental and physical peak.

This was me five years ago. I was so consumed in what was going on around me and just trying to keep up with random stressful life events in general, I neglected my own well-being. Well, neglected it when I felt like it should have been neglected which is completely wrong.

I ate very poorly. Just so you can have some kind of insight of how poorly, I was over 20 pounds heavier back then. I ate for comfort, and it was all mainly from major the fast-food chains. And because I was at my heaviest weight, of course I became uncomfortable in my own skin. This means my self-esteem was definitely now on the low side.

I put everyone before I put myself, I made no time for friends, made a little time for family, and just in a negative mindset all together.

The only time I did something for myself was when I felt like I really really really needed it. I just kept rolling with the punches of life and prayed/hoped I would make it through.

Don’t do what I did, which is probably what most people are doing anyway.

Lets start by talking about what is actually self-care. It’s not as complicated as you may think. I feel people assume they have to take long vacations or get rid of every person in their life that gives them a headache.

Not at all.

Self-care can be simple and affordable (I know people think about what its gonna cost them also; I know I use to).

Here are 10 examples of self-care, and 10 examples of bad self-care:

Healthy Self-Care

1. Disconnect– Take 30 minutes or 1 hour or however long you need to have some quiet time. This means silence your phone and cut off the computer and just have some QUIET time.

2. Self-Indulge– Do one thing everyday that makes you happy. It can be as little as watching a TV show you haven’t seen in a while but you know it will put a smile on your face.

3. Declutter– Now this doesn’t have to be huge. Just small things like clean off your desk at home or at work. Organization keeps your mind clear as well.

4. Unwind– Instead of coming home from a long day and jump right into doing other tasks, change into some comfy clothes, lay across the bed or the couch and chill out for about 20 minutes.

5. Walk– Start taking walks along a path or even if you’re at work down a quiet hallway or outside of the building.

6. “Treat yo-self”– Make dinner plans or a girls/guys night out. Have some fun.

7. Make healthier food choices– Instead of buying fast food for lunch and ordering take-out for dinner, prep at home and bring your lunch to work. If that’s too much, a smaller option would be to start increasing your water intake. Eating a healthy diet will reduce “brain fog”.

8. Have a “Me Day”– Take a day that you have off and devote it just to yourself. OK OK, if you can’t take the whole day, try to take a least a few hours and do something you enjoy doing without any interruptions.

9. Ask for help– If you begin to feel overwhelmed with a task, don’t try to do it all yourself. ASK FOR HELP. I know no one likes asking for favors, but when your mental sanity is at sake, it’s okay to do so.

10. Journal– Write down your feelings and emotions. Why does that thing make you feel this way and what can you do to change it? Reflection is a great is a great tool to have when trying to collect all the thoughts running through your head.

11. (***BONUS***) Have healthy relationships– This means if that cousin on your dads side is always working your nerves, don’t cut that person off, just start distancing yourself from them. It’s called healthy boundaries.

Non-Healthy Self-Care

1. Over compensating– Trying to take on too many things at once and become frustrated in the process of it all.

2. Over-indulging– Yes you can have a spa day or do something just for you to keep your mental stable; You should not neglect all of your responsibilities when in return everything will come crashing down on you and you’ll end up back in the same negative mind space you were in before.

3. Disposal overload– This means yes you can de-clutter; do not throw all things away because when you look at it it frustrates you. For example, your husband/wife leaves their clothes or makeup around after you told them to start picking up after themselves; do not throw it all in the trash. This will just creates extra problems. this leads me into my next point.

4. Bad communication– Yes you should communicate your feelings, but communicate them in the right context. What I mean is, it’s not what you say but how you say it. So don’t go telling your boss where he can shove it.

5. Over-exercising– Don’t over exert yourself in the gym or in your run outside. Pushing yourself past your limits can cause injuries and an unhealthy mindset.

6. “Treat yo-self” extreme– This is when retail therapy goes a little too far. Don’t max out credit cards and deplete your savings on a shopping spree.

7. Mindless eating– Don’t eat just for comfort. Eating that entire box of Krispy Kreme donuts will only be temporary satisfaction.

8. Too many “me days”– Yes take a day off to unwind. Do not call off from work all week because you just felt like it.

9. Trying to impress people– Don’t over extend yourself trying to make yourself look better or to impress people.

10. Over-thinking– Don’t keep replaying the negative things that has happened to you in your head. Accept it has happened and move on.

11. (***BONUS***) Writing people off– Relationships, friendships are going to be difficult. Getting rid of them like their a pair of old socks is not the answer.

Try incorporating one out of the 10/11 self- care items on the list into your daily, weekly, or monthly routine. You can start slow by just doing one or even two at a time if you’re feeling confident in doing so.

You’re physical and mental well-being is worth investing your time in. 

How do you take care of yourself mentally and physically? Are you doing it the right way? Are you doing it intermittently? What is healthy self-care and what’s not?

Talk to you soon

Andie 🙂